Trapped
by DysfunctionalNightmare
Summary: My alternate take on S7. Starts off at ep 1 then mostly a "what could have happened" version of the season if LeviaCas had stuck around. Warnings: Some spoilers/slash/language. See top of chapters for full descrips.
1. Chapter 1

**I think the rage over lack of Cas this season has finally warped my brain. I have never written dark Cas before nor have I wanted to. I can't say I liked doing it all that much either..it felt so **_**wrong **_**to the reason portion of my brain haha. But this idea wouldn't leave me alone so I figured I'd let it spill out of me so I could move on to writing my favorite angel how he should be.**

**Warnings: **Language, ep spoiler 7x01

**Chapter One:**

"You need to run now! I..I can't hold them back!" Castiel demanded in a strained voice.

"Hold who back?" Dean asked confused.

"They held on inside me. Dean, they're so strong," Castiel said while struggling to keep control of himself.

"Who the hell..." Dean started to ask.

"Leviathan! I can't fight them. Run!" Castiel yelled.

Dean looked at Bobby panicked.

"Go! Go get Sam! Go get Sam!"

"Too late," said the thing in Castiel's meat suit.

"Cas?" Dean questioned concerned.

"Cas is...he's gone," it said with a shrug. "He's dead. We run the show now. Ahh. Oh, this is going to be so much fun," it declared with a sinister smile.

Dean and Bobby looked at the creature in horror not sure what to do next. It had lied. Castiel was not dead. The Leviathan were in full control now but the angel was still trapped in the vessel. He was screaming at them and trying to escape, to no avail.

"He-he's dead? He can't be dead," Dean said in disbelief to himself but loud enough for the creature to hear.

"Aww I'm sorry sweetheart," it said with a malevolent smirk.

"You son of a bitch!" Dean snarled then went to lunge at the monster.

"Dean no!" Bobby yelled as he barely caught him in time.

"It fucking killed Cas! Leme go!" Dean shouted as he struggled to get free of the firm grip Bobby had around his chest.

"Dammit boy knock it off!" Bobby said firmly. "We don't know a thing about them! It killed Cas, how hard do you think it will be for it to kill you too?"

Dean stopped moving as Bobby's words sank in and reason started to take over. Bobby let go of him but stood close to his side ready to restrain or defend Dean if needed.

"Not hard in the slightest," it said sounding and looking disinterested.

_"Don't you dare touch him!" Castiel harshly warned the Leviathan._

_"And what, pray tell would you do about it exactly?"_

"Why don't we see about that," Dean said glaring at the monstrosity taking a step forward.

"Dean," Bobby warned as he gripped his arm.

"You're under the impression you actually _matter _enough for me to bother killing you," it said with out even so much as a glance in Dean's direction in acknowledgment Instead its gaze was on the exit and it seemed to be involved in a conversation the humans in the room weren't privy to.

"I'll matter plenty when I fucking kill you," Dean spat out.

"I like your spunk Dean. You're more entertaining than most of the other humans. I shall keep you around for awhile. I really do have other pressing matters to tend to now though. We've been cooped up far too long," it said then made its way out of the room.

Every fiber of Dean's being wanted nothing more than to go after the smug bastard and kill it slowly, but he didn't. For one, Bobby was giving him an 'I'll break your legs if you try it' look and two because going off half cocked would only get him killed. Not that he would think twice about doing it if he thought he could actually kill the damn thing now but him dying wouldn't rid the world of it...nor would it bring Cas back. Cas. He was really gone this time. Dean needed a distraction quick or he was going to loose it.

"Dean! I'm talking to you boy," Bobby said raising his voice.

"Huh?" Dean asked and looked at the older hunter in a daze.

"I said we gotta go find Sam."

"Yea, right. Sammy," Dean said shaking his head as his brain began to function properly again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

They found Sam in a hallway on the floor, unconscious.

"Sammy!" Dean said loudly as he kneeled down and tried to shake his brother awake.

"Wh-what happened?" Sam asked confused as he came to.

Dean looked at his brother unable to find the words. He grabbed his arm to help him to his feet.

"Long story," Bobby said reaching down to grab Sam's other arm. "Let's get out of here first."

Dean lead the way out of the building. He was in no mood to recap what had happened. Bobby would have to be the one to give Same the play by play later. The only thing Dean wanted to focus on was how to kill that piece of shit who was now taking up space in his angel's vessel.

_His _angel. After all they'd been through recently he still thought of Cas that way. He'd been a stubborn son of a bitch when Cas was trying to apologize, he pleaded for forgiveness and Dean just threw it back in his face. The hunter knew this would go down as his biggest regret in life. Of all the fucked up shit he's done there was no making this one better, Cas was gone. As poor of an excuse as it was part of him never believed there was a possibility of loosing the angel. He thought they would do the ritual, all the souls would go back to Purgatory, he'd make the angel grovel for awhile, he'd tell him he was forgiven, and then they'd go back to normal. Now all he had going for him was the thought of killing what took all that away from him.

"Why hello there," it said sweetly as it knelt down next to the little girl.

"Hello," the little girl greeted looking up with a big smile.

"What pretty bows you have," it said smiling brightly while lightly tugging one of the girl's pigtails.

"Thank you. My mommy put them on," she said beaming.

"Where is your mommy?" It asked looking around them.

_"What are you doing?" Castiel asked coldly._

_"Shhh. Castiel, manners. Don't interrupt me while I'm preparing dinner."_

_"What? No! Leave the little girl alone!" Castiel protested._

"She's in the house making supper."

"Aww, that's nice. What are you doing?'

"I'm picking blueberries. Mommy said we're gonna make a pie later," she said excitedly.

Feeling sufficiently covered by the blueberry bushes and far enough out of earshot from the house for anyone to hear any possibly escaped cries for help the monster made his move.

"Do you want to see a trick?" It asked, the sweet smile turning devious.

"Yea," she said looking up giving it her full attention.

It opened its mouth wide revealing a set of sharp inhuman teeth. Its tongue slithered out, it was long and split down the center. The little girl attempted to scream but before she had the chance for the air to get out of her lungs the monster bit into her.

Castiel looked through his vessel's eyes in horror. He could see, even _feel _everything these creatures were doing but he was powerless to do anything about it.

"_Dean is going to kill you," Castiel said bitterly._

_"Your undeterred faith in him was slightly endearing at first but it's wearing quite thin. You know we can't be killed...and certainly not by a self loathing, foul mouthed, simpleminded __**human."**_

_"He has never let me down even when I didn't believe in him. Dean Winchester doesn't know the word can't," Castiel said confidently._

_"And is that why you didn't include him in your little scheme to 'save the world' or so you convinced yourself you were doing so you could ignore the blatant betrayal you were doling out to the one human who trusted you completely and unconditionally?"_

The guilt stabbed Castiel sharply. He was sure it felt just as painful as any angel killing blade would feel being plunged into him. He fell silent and the Leviathan smirked to himself in victory.

"Don't worry Castiel, the fun is just beginning. You'll have a front row seat for it all. Now just sit back, relax and I'll do all the heavy lifting. There's a lot to be done," the leviathan said aloud as he started walking toward the nearest town.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

"This is getting us fucking nowhere," Dean snapped as he slammed the book shut and shoved it off the table.

"Watch it you idgit. That book is from the 1700's. It's one of a kind," Bobby chastised.

"Yea well it aint telling us dick so it's useless," Dean responded angrily, taking a gulp of whiskey out of the bottle.

"Dean maybe you should..." Sam started to say.

"Should what Sam? Chill out? Take it easy? Be calm?" Dean filled in, giving his little brother an icy look.

"...should give the bottle a rest," Sam finished nervously but not backing down.

"That wouldn't be good for any of us Sammy," Dean said in a dark tone that promptly ended the discussion.

It'd had been a week since the leviathan killed Cas. Dean being, well Dean, brushed it off like it was just another day. The one and only time Sam tried to talk to Dean about it was the day after when he found him alone in the kitchen at Bobby's half way through a bottle of Jack at three in the morning. Let's just say Sam was well aware that he not bring up the subject again and the other half of the bottle never got drank...because Dean flung it at Sam's head and it shattered on the wall behind him.

"Bobby, it's bad. I haven't seen him this upset since dad died," Sam said quietly.

"Give him time son. The boy's just lost the best friend he's ever had and to top it off he can't even mourn proper cuz he's still gotta find a way to kill the thing walking around in his meatsuit," Bobby said calmly but unable to fully mask the worry that was clear in his features.

"Yea friend," Sam said clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Hey! I aint thinking on that anymore even using your brain. I certainly didn't ask so I most definitely don't wanna be told. No matter what Castiel was his friend and Dean didn't have any to spare," Bobby said shaking his head as if to make the thought fall out of his ears.

"You're right and that's even more reason to worry. You didn't see him after dad died, he was cold and it's happening all over..only it's worse this time," Sam said wiping his hand over his face.

"Sam don't be over dramatic. He anit worse. Aint nobody more important to that boy than you and your old man. You're family, you know what that means to Dean."

"He's said Cas was family, you've heard him. I know there's nothing my brother wouldn't do for me and he would've done the same for dad but blood doesn't mean the same thing it used to, to him. Between what we found out about mom and how our own grandfather betrayed us and what I did. Cas is different, he is worse this time because he _chose _Cas as family and lost him."

Bobby was quiet as what Sam had said sank in. He was right. There was a time where just knowing there was a DNA bond there would evoke all of Dean's loyalty but not anymore. It wasn't that Dean wasn't still loyal, he'd still be there till the bitter end for someone he cared about but he just didn't believe being blood should automatically earn that loyalty unconditionally anymore. The three people he spent the majority of his life caring about the most had all deceived him in some fashion, good intentions or not. His mother, who he'd always held the highest, was the worst offender. She was the reason any of this even happened. She sold out Sam before he was even born and everything snowballed ever since. His father, who he idolized, put him and Sam second. Revenge for his wife's death always came first. He'd taken their childhood away from them moving them all the time and training them to be warriors. And Sam, the person he relied on the most, picked a demon over him. Dean understood why they all did what they did and he couldn't judge them for it. None of them went into what they did expecting the out come that they got. Dean had made plenty of his own decisions that he thought were right at the time that ended up being mistakes as well but the effects of their choices still effected him. He'd held them all on their respective pedestals for so long and their inevitable falls caused Dean more emotional damage than he'd ever even admit to himself let alone out loud.

**This fic sparked from a one shot I had from a song but I have a few ideas to make it an actual story now. I have about 15 chapters lined out so far, I'll see where it goes...and if anyone wants to read.**

**Reviews if you're interested please.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

In the week since they'd taken over the angel's vessel the Leviathan have wasted no time in staking their claim on earth. The head Leviathan stayed in the meatsuit that took him on. He, for the time being at least, was amused by the angel's begging. Once he reached the first major city he released the others he was holding onto in the local water supply. Hundreds of monsters were now walking around looking like the human they'd gotten themself into.

"Low profile! Do you not understand that reference you moronic waste of space?" LeviaCas yelled at the inferior in front of him.

"I-I do sir," it stammered in response.

"Oh so then you just deliberately disobeyed me," LeviaCas said lowering his voice but keeping the harsh tone.

"N-no sir I didn't, I wouldn't. I mean.."

"Enough. Bib yourself."

"Please no. Let me have another chance. I beg you," pleaded the lesser monster.

"NOW!" Roared the superior. "All of you watch. This will happen to anyone who goes against the plan."

The room full of monsters watched with a mix of horror and relief that it wasn't them. The one who had strayed from the set plan and committed a flamboyant murder thus making the news and not keeping his kills under the radar as ordered tied a cloth around his neck and began eating himself.

_"No loyalty among your kind huh," Castiel said smugly._

_"Oh there's loyalty angel boy. It just has to be earned. Who among us hasn't killed a brother when the time called for it," the monster responded with a smirk._

Cas went back to his own thoughts. Being trapped like this was slowly wearing him down. He clung desperately to the hope that he would get out of this somehow. Most of his thoughts revolved around Dean. Everything he'd done had initially been for him..it just went very wrong. He cursed himself for ever letting a filthy demon talk him into anything. He of course was never going to split the souls with Crowley as he vowed but he should never have fought to take them for himself either. He'd convinced himself he needed the extra power to defeat Raphael. He truly believed all the way up to the moment he consumed the last soul that he was doing the right thing. He'd defeat his brother, take lead in heaven and return it to order then return the souls to where they belonged. He was naive and never imagined having that much power would change him the way it did. He couldn't let the archangel win, he would undo everything Sam, Dean and him worked for. He would end the world, this one at least. Dean was the one who showed him that was wrong in the first place. He had tried to convince the hunter to let the Apocalypse happen but he refused. Dean insisted that no matter how fucked up this world was it was better than being a robot in some utopia after a holy war fried the planet and most of the people in it. Dean showed him that just because it's destined doesn't mean it needs to happen. Dean taught him to have free will and that was the most important thing the angel had learned in his thousands of years in existence. One thing Dean did not teach him was that with free will and the choices you make, there's always a direct consequence. Now he'd give anything just to tell Dean he was sorry and he should have listened to his warnings.

**Chapter Five:**

_I feel regret...I just wanted to make amends before I die...I'm sorry Dean...I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you...I mean it Dean. The words, Castiel's pleas for forgiveness, just kept repeating on loop. Dean stood there listening and watching the angel as he spoke. The regret and guilt were as obvious in his voice as they were on his face. Castiel was normally stoic so any change was obvious and quickly detected. Dean tried to speak but nothing would come out. He tried to move to his angel but it was as if he were glued to the floor. All he could do was scream in his head, desperate for any small miracle that the angel could hear him. Cas! Cas I forgive you. I know you were trying to do the right thing. You're not going to die..you can't die. I don't know what to do with out you. Please Cas just hear me._

Dean woke up in a cold sweat gasping for air. He had barely been able to close his eyes with out quickly slipping into this nightmare since the night at the warehouse. The drinking helped to knock him out a few hours here and there but once he started to sober up a little the nightmares returned. Everyday after he woke up and made his way to the bathroom he'd look in the mirror after washing his face. Everyday he looked more tired. He knew Sam was at his breaking point and was going to corner him into some kind of bull shit talk about your feelings chick flick moment anytime now. He just hoped he didn't immediately deck Sam on reflex when he finally did.

"Hey Dean," Sam greeted as Dean entered the kitchen.

Dean merely grunted in response.

"You want some breakfast?" Sam asked while cracking an egg and letting its contents fall into a mixing bowl.

"Not hungry," Dean grumbled as he opened the fridge and reached for a beer.

Sam looked at his brother and frowned. He'd been biting his tongue for two weeks now and Bobby's 'give him time' speech was loosing all its hold. Sam was afraid if he gave Dean anymore time he would self destruct.

"Dean you can't live off of alcohol. You need to eat," Sam said firmly but in a soft tone.

"I eat. I just aint hungry," Dean answered agitated.

"When's the last time you consumed anything that wasn't liquid?" Sam asked folding his arms.

"I ate those damn cheeseburgers Bobby made ok. Now get off my back," Dean said with a glare.

"Cheeseburgers?" Sam questioned in shock. "Dean, Bobby made those for dinner on Saturday."

"So what?" Dean asked.

"So what? It's Tuesday," Sam said incredulously.

"Whatever," Dean said rolling his eyes and took a swig of his beer.

"You're eating what I cook and that's it," Sam demanded.

"Fine mom. If that'll get you to quit you bitching for five minutes I'll eat the shit."

Sam ignored him and went back to preparing the eggs. It'd stop his 'bitching' until Dean finished eating but then he was going to have a serious talk with his brother. He couldn't sit back and watch him go down hill like this.

"There. Happy now?" Dean asked as he finished the eggs and pushed his plate away. He started to get up when Sam spoke.

"Sit down," Sam ordered sternly.

"What now?" Dean asked still standing but not attempting to move.

"I said sit down," Sam repeated louder. "We need to talk."

"No. Fuck that. There's nothing to talk about," Dean protested as he turned to leave.

"Don't make me say it again," Sam said in a low cold voice that Dean immediately recognized as his brother's I'm deadly serious voice.

"Fine," Dean said shooting Sam his best bitch face as he sat back down.

Sam was quiet for a minute. He'd expected more of a protest. If you looked up stubborn in the dictionary his brother's face would be the picture next to it. He'd prepared for more of a fight but when it came to actually talking about what the problem was he still somewhat unprepared.

"You've gotta stop doing this to yourself man," Sam finally said quietly.

"Doing what?" Dean asked through gritted teeth.

"Oh you know what. You're killing yourself. In the past two weeks you've pretty much drank an entire liquor store, you hardly sleep and when you do I know you have nightmares, you barely eat anything and you're constantly on edge."

"Your point?" Dean asked still gritting his teeth while willing himself not to punch Sam in the face.

"My point is the easter bunny isn't real," Sam said sarcastically with a dramatic wave of his hands. "Doing this won't bring him back," he said his voice quieting and his tone going somber.

"Don't," Dean warned sending Sam a look that, if looks could kill Dean would need to be digging a whole for Sam's body right about now.

"He gave up everything he knew for you Dean. He saved your ass more times than I can count and you're just gonna throw that all away and give up like this? Do you think Castiel would wanna see you like this?" Sam questioned in a harsh tough love manner.

That was it. Any self control Dean was using to hold back was gone. In a series of quick swift motions he stood up, leaned over the table and decked his little brother right in the jaw knocking him and his chair over. Sam looked up at the older man as he clutched his already starting to swell face with an, you know I'm right smug look that made Dean very much want to kick him in the ribs but he held back. Anger had gotten the better of him as usual but he did know Sam was right.

"You mention him again and you'll have a broken nose to go along with that fractured jaw," Dean said in such a cold dark tone that it sent a shiver up Sam's spine. Then he turned and left the room.

Sam slowly got to his feet. He was never more scared for his brother than at that moment. He'd been punched and threatened by him many times but this was different. This _felt _different. Dean was fading fast and Sam needed to find a way to get him back.

**Chapter Six:**

**Warning:** Dean/Cas smut & some fluff. The angst was killing me, killing me so I just needed to lighten it up for a quick minute. For the record, time frame wise this flash back would have taken place before the infamous Pizza man ep but I fully was inspired by it ;) In my head this was somewhere mid season 5.

_"I don't understand," Cas said cocking his head to the side as he sat on the edge of the bed looking at the TV intently._

_"Don't understand what?" Dean asked as he emerged from the bathroom with his bag of tolietries walking past the TV with out taking notice of what was on it._

_"If the young prep school student is truly having difficulty in the mathematics class, I don't see how the teacher tying her hands together and bending her over the desk to fornicate is going to improve her grade."_

_"What? Are you watching porn?" Dean asked in disbelief as he dropped the shirt he had picked out of his duffel bag and quickly turned to look at the TV._

_"Porn?" Cas asked looking at the hunter confused._

_"Yea, people having sex with no plot line and cheesy as all hell dirty talk. That is porn," he said gesturing to the screen. _

_"Is this not what I often find you watching when I return from an absence?" Cas asked still confused._

_"That-that's different," Dean defended as he turned off the TV. "I watch it when you're not here and I have nobody to play with. You don't need to watch porn when you can make it instead," Dean said with a suggestive grin as he stepped in front of the angel invading his personal space._

_Cas looked up at the hunter hungrily, his eyes darkening with lust. He reached out and touched his fingers to Dean's bare stomach. He ran them gently up his abs and over his ribs. Dean's skin was soft and smooth, fresh after a long hot shower. Dean shivered under the gentle touch. The simple yet highly erotic act, since no one had ever touched him like his angel, sent a pulse straight to his quickly hardening cock._

_Moving things along, Castiel leaned forward and began to mimic the previous actions of his hands, this time with his mouth. He slowly made his way up the exposed firm chest licking, kissing and lightly biting as he went. He found his way to that spot where neck met shoulder that Dean enjoyed so much and paid extra attention to it. Dean moaned in pleasure. The sound went right to Castiel's now growing erection._

_Dean, always the more inpatient one of the pair, took over. Not that it wasn't nice to go slowly sometimes but if Cas kept this up he'd come before they even did anything and that would just be embarrassing. He'd never admit it but sometimes he was so turned on by the littlest thing the angel did that he felt like a 17 year old virgin who'd shoot his payload if the chick let him near second base._

_Dean grabbed Cas's face firmly between his strong hands and pulled him into a kiss. Their lips crashed together and both men greedily tasted the other. _

_"Too much clothes," Dean said in a low husky voice looking at the blue eyed man after pulling away from the kiss._

_With out another word Dean ripped open the dress shirt the smaller man was wearing, sending buttons flying and pushed it down over his shoulders. Cas quickly joined in and pulled his arms out of the shirt. Dean then grabbed the hem of his under shirt and pulled it over his head. Cas reached for Dean's jeans undoing the button and pulling down the zipper, Dean mimicked his actions in unison. They both pulled down their jeans and boxers then kicked them aside. Dean pushed Cas back onto the bed and climbed on top of him._

_"That's better," Dean said in his ear._

_Dean settled into a position where their hardons were contacting nicely and they moved in a rhythm to keep the friction going. Dean looked down at Cas's swollen lips and attacked them with his own. He pushed his tongue over the bottom lip into his mouth. Cas groaned and dug his fingers into Dean's back over his shoulder blades breaking the skin a little and causing a small amount of blood to seep out._

_"Marking your territory again?" Dean hissed with a smirk._

_"Those little scratches are always heat of the moment. I have no need to mark you."_

_Dean arched his eyebrow giving him an Oh really look before leaning down to kiss his chest._

_"Yea..I already know you're my little bitch," Cas said with a smirk._

_Dean abruptly stopped what he was doing and looked the angel in the face. I still kind of surprised him when the angel got cocky like that. He was usually so serious, socially awkward and overtly literal, all of which made him adorable. The more time he spent with Dean in the human world the more humanisms he picked up here and there. And since his favorite human was a slightly alcoholic ill tempered perverted sarcastic man child, he tended to pick up what some would call..the less desirable mannerisms._

_"Oh one of us is about to be the little bitch alright," Dean said with a devilish grin._

_Dean covered Cas's lips with his own before he had a chance to retort. He put his knee in between his legs spreading them apart. He broke the contact to look at his angel who gave him a nod in approval and Dean went for it. Dean found a steady pace they were both enjoying and Castiel reached down between them in effort to tend to his own throbbing need._

_"Nuh-uh," Dean said shaking his head and gathering both of Cas's wrists in one hand then pining them above his head onto the bed._

_"Dean please," Cas pleaded._

_"No," Dean said firmly._

_Dean thrust into him slowly hitting precisely the spot that made the angel's toes curl every time._

_"Dean..I need..please," Cas breathed frenzied._

_Dean reached down between them and took Cas's dick in his hand, grasping it firmly. It was rock hard in desperate need of attention. Cas bucked his hips in response to how good Dean's rough hand felt around him. He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply as Dean began to move his hand._

_"Open your eyes and look at me," Dean demanded. "I want to watch."_

_His eye lids popped open and he looked Dean in the eye with those amazingly intense blue eyes that if Dean were honest, had had at least some kind of effect on him since the first time they met. They were darker than usual due to the current activity and even more engrossing than normally, if that were even possible. Dean loved eye contact during sex with Cas. Watching him as he came was almost as good as his own orgasm, as crazy as that sounds. No matter how far into the act they were or what particular act they were in, if Dean watched as Cas came he was pushed over the edge mere seconds later...this time was no different._

_Dean rolled over on the bed next to Cas and they both lie there the room silent except for the sound of the two men catching their breath. Dean lifted his arm out giving Cas the signal. He squirmed in close to Dean pressing himself against his side and resting his head on his chest like a pillow. Dean brought the arm in around Cas and pulled him closer._

_"Who is who's little bitch now exactly?" Dean asked smugly._

_"I'll show you in a few minutes Winchester," Cas answered presumptuously._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Seven**

"Dammit Dean! This aint fucking helping," he cursed aloud shaking his head in effort to somehow escape the memory he'd fallen into.

He banged his head against the car and rubbed his eyes. After hitting Sam he needed to get away. He'd drove for three hours not paying any attention to where he was going, only wanting to be somewhere else. He eventually stopped and pulled into a big open field. He'd been lying on the hood of the Impala for hours just trying to think about anything other than what was really happening in his life.

The sun was going down and the temperature was dropping. Dean was starting to regret running out of the house in a short sleeve t-shirt. He pushed himself off of the car and reached in his jeans pocket for his cell phone. He turned it back on and saw that he had ten missed calls and seven text messages...all from Sam.

He flipped the phone open and scrolled through his contacts till he got to his brother's name then pushed send. He figured he should at least let him know he was still alive...and probably apologize for what happened that morning.

"Dean! Dean, where are you?" Sam called frantically into the phone.

"Sam chill, I'm fine. I uh I don't know where I am actually."

"What? How do you not know where you are?"

"Look, I just got in the car and drove. I didn't have any specific destinations in mind ok?" Dean answered starting to get annoyed.

"Ok fine, just come back now will ya?" Sam asked hesitantly.

"Yea Sammy, I'm on my way."

Dean hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket. He got in the car and made his way back to Bobby's house. His little temper tantrum that morning hadn't helped, running off didn't change matters and taking a stroll down fucking memory lane certainly wouldn't fix anything. He knew what he needed to do, he needed to kill that thing that took everything away from him.

**Chapter Eight:**

**Warning: **Extreme cheese..I don't know what possessed me to write this or why in the world this song popped into my head.

_"It must have been cold there in my shadow, to never have sunlight on your face. __You were content to let me shine, that's your way. You always walked a step behind. So I was the one with all the glory, while you were the one with all the strength. A beautiful face without a name for so long. A beautiful smile to hide the pain.," Castiel sang, very off key._

_"I'll give you this much angel, you have persistence. I would assume you'd of tired of this by now," the Leviathan said with vague interest._

_"Shhh! You're being rude. I was just getting to the good part," Castiel chastised._

_"As you wish," it responded flippantly._

_"Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings. It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart. I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it. I would be nothing without you," Castiel continued on with his hundredth rendition of the song._

_"I would think you would have picked a different song if you were going to play this little game with me. Quite the little masochist are we now Castiel?" _

Castiel fell silent. The monster had a point. This was the one song with the significance to hurt him. It was also the only one he'd known all the words to. He had never really paid much attention to the music Dean played or what he'd heard in other places they went. He let his mind wander to the first time he'd ever heard the song.

_"No angel mojo help either. That's cheating," Dean warned._

_"Angel powers are not required for such a simple task Dean," Cas said rolling his eyes._

_"It's harder than it looks. I've been doing this since I was a kid,"_

_"Just give it to me," Cas demanded._

_"Fine. Go ahead, your turn."_

_Castiel took the dart from Dean's hand and aimed it at the board. He barely hit the target let alone anywhere near the bullseye that he was aiming for. He looked over at Dean who was trying his damndest to hold in laughter._

_"Perhaps I may have over simplified the task a bit," Cas said weakly, his cheeks slightly reddening._

_"S'ok Cas, you just sit and look pretty. I'll handle the hustle," Dean smirked._

_Cas shot him a look of disapproval. He wasn't exactly totally comfortable with how Dean earned his money but then he understood he couldn't just have a day job either. They went and sat at a booth in the back corner of the bar with their beers. The bar was pretty empty, which was good and bad. No prospects for a decent hustle but it did give them some time to just chill out._

_"Awww Cas our song's playing," Dean teased before taking a swig of his beer._

_"Our what?" Cas asked tilting his head to the side in confusion._

_"It was a joke Cas. I'm not drunk enough to deal with the shit they're playing in here so I attempted to be funny. I really gotta teach you how to have a sense of humor," Dean said shaking his head and drinking more._

_Cas ignored his last comment and started listening to the song that was playing. He paid close attention to the lyrics and replayed them over in his mind. He was quiet for a long while._

_"Hey! Earth to angel boy," Dean said snapping his fingers._

_"W-what?" Cas asked coming out of his thoughts._

_"I asked if you wanted another beer. What am I boring you here?"_

_"It's pretty," Cas said ignoring both questions._

_"What is?" Dean asked confused._

_"Our song."_

_"What? No Cas, that was supposed to be funny. We don't have a song..and certainly not Wind Beneath My Wings," Dean said in disgust._

_"But why can't we?" Cas asked. "I have wings, Dean."_

_"I uh, because it's gay. Yea but the chick who wrote that crap doesn't and it's cheesy love sick bullshit that chicks listen to, not dudes."_

_"It's pretty," Cas answered in his stern don't argue with me voice Dean knew well. It was the same one he'd heard the night the angel told him to show him some respect and he could send him back to hell._

_"Great job Dean," Dean said rolling his eyes._

After that Castiel insisted on replaying the song again...ten more times. By the third time Dean was taking a close survey of the room looking to make sure there was nobody in the bar he couldn't take in a fight. He figured any minute now someone was going to say something. He knew he would if he wasn't with the moron doing it. Then by the eighth time Dean was singing along with the angel. He'd later swear it was because the liquor finally got to him but Castiel knew better. Dean saw that it mad Cas happy and no matter how stupid or lame he thought it was if Cas was happy he couldn't resist being happy too. After that night they would randomly play it for the other, and of course they had to sing along. Dean found it helped get him back in the angel's good graces quicker after he pissed him off so he took full advantage.

Castiel tried to shove the memories aside. They were doing him no good. Dean would never play that song for him again..he would never see Dean again.

**Chapter Nine:**

**Warning: **S7 Ep 6 spoiler. Dialogue.

"Dammit Sam, what the fuck is taking so long?" Dean asked annoyed leaning over his brother's shoulder looking at the lap top's screen.

"I'm doing the best I can Dean," Sam defended. "I don't know why or how but there's nothing on this thing. Whatever it's doing it's doing it under the radar."

"Awesome," Dean groaned out in frustration.

"There might be someone I know who can help," Bobby chimed in emerging from the kitchen.

"What? It's been almost three fucking weeks Bobby! Why are just telling us this?" Dean questioned angrily.

"Don't gime that tone boy. Because this guy's half off his rocker on the best day and this is an extremely last resort hail mary play if we call him," Bobby said.

"I'd say we're at the last resort time here Bobby," Sam said quickly cutting Dean off who looked as if he were going to argue.

"I'll give him a call," Bobby said and left the room.

Dean was happy to get out of the house and finally be doing something about this Leviathan shit. Almost three weeks of doing research and they didn't have dick. Sam on the other hand was worried. He knew Dean was close to going over the edge and they still had no idea how to kill this thing even when they did find it. He did his best to find it anyway, he was afraid if they didn't find this monster Dean would do something reckless..more than usual that is.

They pulled up to a rundown old house that didn't look like anyone had lived in it for years let alone actually lived in it now. It was beat up, in desperate need of a paint job and the windows were boarded up. The bushes and lawn were in the same poor condition.

"Are you sure this is it?" Sam asked unsure as he got out of the car.

"This is the address Bobby gave me," Dean responded shutting his door.

They walked up to the front door and knocked. After a few minutes nobody had answered and Dean took out his lock pick. They walked in the house both holding their guns up ready to shoot. The inside of the house was as bad as the outside. It looked like one of the abandon houses they would crash in since they were kids.

"Frank? Frank, anybody here? Hello? Anybody home?" Sam called.

A lamp gets turned on and they both turn to look. There was a man sitting in a chair pointing a gun at them.

"Well, well. Spider caught some flies," said the man.

"Uh sir we're just..." Sam started to say but Frank held up the gun to silence him.

"Who sent you? NSA? The Feeb? March of Dimes?" Frank questioned.

"Uh, Bobby Singer sent us," Dean answered.

Frank growled stood up and cocked his gun.

"Or not. Who?" Dean said putting up his hands placatingly.

"H-he said you could help. He said you owed him, from Port Huron," Sam said nervously.

"Guy saves your life _one_ time, and, what, you owe him the rest of yours?" Frank asks annoyed.

"That's usually how it works, yeah," Dean responded.

Frank pointed his gun at Dean again but lowered it after a few seconds letting out an exasperated noise. They explained what was going on to Frank and he led them into another room with a bunch of computer screens and other equipment.

"If your friend is anywhere in the world right now I'll find him. There are cameras everywhere," Frank said.

"Our _friend _is dead," Dean said through gritted teeth. "Just find the face in the picture I gave you."

"Fine, fine. Just go away. I don't work well with others. I'll call you when I find him," Frank said and dismissed them with a wave of his hand.

Sam and Dean left the house and walked back to the Impala. They started making their way back to their hotel.

"What a nut job," Dean said after a few minutes.

"Yea. No wonder Bobby didn't bring him up sooner."

They guy was most certainly a few marbles short of a full batch but he knew what he was doing. Less than two days later he had called Dean to give him the location of the Leviathan that took over Cas's vessel.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Ten:**

The Leviathan sat behind a large oak desk reading over paperwork. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," called LeviaCas.

"Sir here are the new building plans for the research center," the Leviathan said putting a rolled up paper on the big desk his boss was sitting behind.

"Were all the proper changes made?"

"Yes sir."

"I want a crew working on it immediately."

"Yes, of course."

"You can leave now," LeviaCas responded with out so much as looking up from what he was doing.

_"Antisocial much?" Castiel piped up._

_"I don't have time for you now angel." the Leviathan answered annoyed._

_"I have plenty of time and nothing to do and only you to keep me company."_

_"My fondness of you is growing thin. Your time may be running out if you continue to test my patience," it warned._

_"Bullshit," Castiel responded flatly._

_"Excuse me?" LeviaCas asked both in surprise at the angel's response and anger that he was questioned._

_"I said bullshit. I know you can't kill me. That spell that I used to consume the souls connected us somehow," Cas spat out._

_"Touche. You forget that I __**can **__kill any and everyone else I want though. I could start off with a certain self sacrificing demon hunter I know," it said smugly._

Castiel didn't respond. He didn't care what happened to him but he couldn't ever let anything happen to Dean. That would be worse than dying. He could say that with certainty, he'd both died and seen Dean Winchester die..he'd pick the former every single time.

He decided to do something he hadn't done in a long time. Something he'd once thought could and would help him under any circumstance. Castiel started to pray.

_"God please. I know you're still there, I don't believe your dead. I know I don't deserve your help but the world does. These monsters are going to do awful things to it," Castiel pleaded._

He got no answer. Part of him wanted to kick himself in the ass for even trying. He knew God had stopped caring, or that all this 'wasn't his problem' as Joshua had told Dean. But another part still held the smallest bit of hope. He must care, God must care at least a little. He brought Castiel back after his brother had killed him.

**Chapter Eleven:**

**Warnings: **Language, graphic slash, semi non con, violence, Evil LeviaCas

"This is ridiculous Dean. We have no idea how to kill this thing," Sam said frustrated.

"Your objections have been duly noted and dismissed Sam," Dean answered annoyed.

"God. Do you ever think anything through?"

"No. I try not to," Dean said as his grip tightened on the wheel.

"You're gonna get us all killed," Sam said agitated.

"Nobody forced you and Bobby to come. I don't need a babysitter."

"Yea like we're just gonna let you run off and fight this thing alone. You heard what Death said about these things."

Frank had given them the location where the Leviathan who took over Cas was staying. It'd picked a small town outside of Portland Maine to haul up in. From what Frank said, half the town were monsters now. It was staying in a spacious split level that stood alone on a few acres. They made it to the street the house was on just after midnight. Dean parked the car and said they should go the rest of the way on foot.

"What's the plan?" Bobby asked as he got out of his car.

"Direct the guns and sharp objects at these things and try not to die," Dean said.

"Great plan," Sam said caustically.

"I'm going," Dean said turning away from them.

Sam and Bobby gave each other a look and started to follow Dean. A few minutes later they were in front of the house. It was dark, there didn't appear to be any lights on in the house. They split up. Bobby took the back door while Sam and Dean took the front. Once inside the brothers split up as well. They weren't in the house more than five minutes before they were all caught.

"Let go of me you son of a bitch!" Dean snarled as he struggled to get loose.

"Breaking and entering is a crime ya know. We could just call the police," said the Leviathan holding him.

"You do that then," Sam said.

They were lead into the living room. The creatures lined them up and warned them to stand still until the boss got there. Minutes later they heard the voice coming from behind them.

"Well, well, well. Isn't this a pleasant surprise," LeviaCas said with a sinister smile.

_"NOOOOO!" Castiel roared. "Don't you dare touch him!"_

_"Now, now don't be rude. We have guests."_

"It won't be pleasant when I kill you," Dean said glaring at the creature darkly.

"Why so gloomy? What have I ever done to you?" LeviaCas asked pleasantly.

"You know exactly what the fuck you did to me," Dean spat viciously.

"Oh yes, the angel. He was a friend of yours right?" it asked with a devious smirk at the word friend that Dean caught but quickly dismissed. No way this thing could know..although he was inside Cas with all the other souls maybe they shared memories.

"Enough of this bullshit. Kill us or let's fight," Dean demanded.

"Dean," Sam hissed.

"Bring him to my room," LeviaCas told one of the flunkies gesturing to Dean.

Sam and Bobby made a move to interject but they had Leviathan restraining them before they managed anything. Dean struggled and cursed the whole way up stairs and down the hallway. LeviaCas followed behind. Once Dean was in the bedroom the muscle was dismissed and told to go help watch the others.

"What the fuck?" Dean snapped.

"I wanted to be alone with you," it said simply.

The Leviathan looked Dean over as he stepped closer. Dean backed up into a wall and it closed the distance stopping a good foot away from him.

_"No! Don't you fucking touch him!" Castiel hissed._

_"I know how much you've missed him. I'd think you'd be pleased to see loverboy again."_

_"Let him go now!" Castiel demanded._

_"Now what fun would that be?"_

"W-what do you want?" Dean asked eying the creature unsure.

"So many things come to mind," it said closing the gap between them so their bodies were almost touching. "You are quite the physical specimen Dean," it said as it reached to touch its fingers to Dean's cheek.

"Don't fucking touch me," Dean said as he flinched away.

"You'll be begging me not to stop in a few minutes," it whispered harshly in his ear now fully pressing its chest against the hunters.

"Y-you wanna fuck me?" Dean asked shocked as he started to become more nervous.

"And they say you're the stupid brother," it said with a smirk.

Before Dean could speak it pressed its lips firmly against his. Its hands went up under Dean's shirt fingers gently touching his ribs. At first Dean was to stunned to move but once his brain caught up enough to react he pushed the monster away.

"Touch me again and I'll kill you," Dean warned.

It took a step advancing on Dean again. He quickly moved to the side and took a swing at the creature. It was deflected and Dean was quickly pinned to the wall face front. LeviaCas gave Dean a few hard blows to the kidneys and he fell to his knees in pain. Dean started to turn around and it kicked him in the ribs causing him to topple to the ground. The Leviathan knelt down grabbed Dean by his jacket collar and pulled him to his feet slamming him against the wall.

"Are we ready to play nice?" It asked.

"Fuck you," Dean responded coldly.

"That's what I had in mind..only the other way around," it said then punched Dean in the stomach making him double over in pain. "I would think with this vessel you'd be a bit more corporative."

"You're not Cas," Dean said bitterly.

"I look like Cas," it said touching Dean's cheek again. "I sound like Cas," it said stroking it lightly. "I feel like Cas," it said pressing itself against the hunter firmly.

"N-no," Dean stammered out turning his head.

"You say no but you feel like a yes," it said smugly pushing its thigh against Dean's quickly hardening cock.

_"S-stop it," Castiel stuttered in disbelief._

_"Now Castiel, I know you want this..even more than I do."_

_"N-no..not like this. D-don't," Cas plead nervously._

_"Stop cock blocking me angel boy. Don't worry, you know you'll feel everything too."_

Fuck, Dean cursed his body for betraying him this way. His heart was screaming no but everything else wanted this. He missed his angel so much, it was all he ever thought about. It had been too long since they were together. This thing was Cas in every physical way and it did have Cas's memories. If this was going to happen, and it didn't seem like Dean could stop it, maybe he could just believe it was Cas.

LeviaCas grabbed Dean by the chin forcing his head forward. It crashed its lips into his. The kiss was rough and urgent with no feeling behind it. Dean's mind went to his angel's kisses, how they were so hesitant and gentle when they first got together then later became confident and passionate. He'd give just about anything to just be able to have one more of those kisses. Without thinking Dean began responding to the thing touching his lips. He kissed back, a desperate needy kiss.

The creature grew impatient. It quickly started removing both of their clothes as it lead them to the bed. It shoved Dean down on the mattress face first.

"On your hands and knees Winchester," the monster ordered in a dark gruff voice.

Dean did as he was told and tried to brace himself for the inevitable. He considered trying to fight it off again but if he were honest he'd only be able to put about half of his full effort into it. Part of him was saying how wrong this was but another part, that was winning out, wanted Cas back so much that it was willing to take this abomination as a temporary substitute.

It climbed onto the bed and grabbed Dean by his hips sliding into him rough without warning. It wasn't gentle and didn't wait for Dean to adjust it just started pounding into him. Dean gritted his teeth and winced in pain but refused to cry out, he wouldn't give this thing the satisfaction. LeviaCas picked up a quick hard rhythm thrusting deep inside Dean with every move of his hips. Despite the intrusive start it had picked up a pace and position that started to really work for Dean. He moaned out as the creature began hitting just the right spot. Quickly he had a hard throbbing cock of his own that needed attention. Almost as if could read minds it reached around the front of Dean taking him into its hand. It began stroking Dean in sync with it thrusting. Dean came first, the monster soon after. It pulled out of the hunter and flopped on the bed beside Dean as he collapsed onto his stomach catching his breath.

After the initial high of the orgasm wore off Dean's mind came back into focus. He became nervous and his body tensed. His mind was racing with a thousand thoughts, most of them regret over what he'd just done. Then self preservation kicked in.

"Are you gonna let us go?" Dean asked nervously.

"I don't see why not. You're of no threat to me and I may want to play with you again sometime," it said casually without even looking at him.

Dean took that as his cue. He got up and quickly got dressed. He heard LeviaCas call down to his lackeys to let them leave. He was about to leave the room when it stopped him.

"Lot of fun you are Dean. We'll have to do this again sometime," it said with a smirk.

Dean couldn't look at it or respond, he just brushed past it and hurried down the stairs.

_"You son of a bitch," Castiel said somberly._

_"Don't act like you didn't enjoy that," it smirked coldly._

**Chapter Twelve:**

Dean drove back to Bobby's in silence. Sam, of course, asked him what had happened when he went upstairs with LeviaCas but Dean harshly told him nothing, along with a look that ended the questioning.

The next few days Dean was really quiet. Sam knew seeing 'Cas' again would be hard on Dean but it was like he was back to square one again, as if it were the day after he lost the angel again. All Dean did was drink, look for anything that would kill the Leviathan and have nightmares..sometimes, when Sam forced him, he'd eat.

Dean didn't think things could be any worse but after what happened with LeviaCas he knew that assumption was wrong. Things were way worse now. He still didn't have Cas, still didn't know how to kill these things and now he had this whole new level of guilt to deal with. He was disgusted with himself for trying to pretend that thing was Cas. It was an insult to _his _Castiel and it just showed how weak he was. Rationally he knew he couldn't have stopped things but he didn't have to _enjoy _what that thing did to him..now that was where the guilt really came in.

"Dean! Dean get in here now!" Bobby yelled.

"What?" Dean called as he rushed down the stairs. "What is it?"

"I think you better read this son," Bobby said handing Dean a book.

Dean skimmed over the page not seeing what the big deal is. They already knew all this. All it was saying was the Leviathan trapped in purgatory could escape if someone where to do the spell and open the door. Then once they were out the host who took them in would release them on to the world. Then he saw it, the very last paragraph.

"Oh my God," Dean whispered. "Bobby do you really think this is true? Is it possible?"

"I'd say it was just as reliable as any other lore we've gone on over the years."

"We can get him back," Dean said quietly as he continued to stare at the page.

_The original Leviathan will control the vessel who consumes him and release the others onto the population. The original will have to stay in that vessel in order to survive. They will have to share it with the host's soul as they are now linked after the ritual. If the host's soul dies so will the Leviathan. If the Leviathan is expelled from the host for any reason it will die. The vessel it was possessing will be taken back over by its original host._

"Uh Dean I don't wanna be a buzz kill but how are we gonna get this thing to get outta Cas?" Sam asked guiltily as he didn't want to break his brother's good mood. It was the first time he'd seen him smiling since the loss of the angel.

"Bobby's working on that part. You know he always comes through. He found this didn't he?" Dean beamed not letting his excitement be diminished.

"Your right, I'm sure he will."

"But?" Dean asked.

"But what?" Sam returned.

"You had a but tone," Dean said his smile fading slightly.

"But it said the vessel will be taken over by its original host. That's Jimmy, not Castiel," Sam said somberly hating to break his brother's spirit.

"Oh that, no don't worry. Jimmy's gone," Dean answered relieved.

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"Ya remember when Cas disappeared for a few days after we lost Adam to Michael and he turned up human?"

"Of course," Sam said naturally.

"Well he's not real sure how or why he was human but whatever happened to turn em it took Jimmy's soul out of the vessel. Something about two souls not being able to be in the same host Cas said."

"So Cas as an angel doesn't have a soul?" Sam asked surprised.

"No he does, it's just different. He's not human so it was like a loop hole or whatever."

"You never told me that," Sam said slightly annoyed.

"I-I guess I kinda forgot. I mean I was just so happy Cas was back I honestly didn't give Jimmy any thought. I only even know because I randomly asked Cas something about Jimmy one time and he told me that," Dean defended.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Thirteen:**

Dean gave Bobby a few days to find a way to get the Leviathan out of Cas's vessel. He didn't find one and Dean couldn't wait anymore. It was different when he thought Cas was dead. They could just keep looking and eventually find away to kill the thing but with Cas still around Dean couldn't take that time. He wouldn't leave the angel stuck with this thing another minute if he could help it.

"Dean, no. You can't do this," Sam said shaking his head.

"I aint asking for permission," Dean huffed.

"I'm not saying you need permission, I'm saying it won't work!" Sam snapped.

"Yea, whatever. I've heard that before," Dean said dismissively.

"Dean, we pissed him off last time. All you're gonna do is get yourself killed."

"Well then I get killed! I'm doing it," Dean spat angrily.

"That'll really help the situation," Sam said sarcastically.

"I'm done sitting around doing nothing. You and Bobby haven't found shit. That bastard needs to die."

"And you're just gonna sacrifice yourself for a _chance _at that," Sam said bitterly.

'Yes. Yes I am, if that's what it takes. He's trapped Sammy. I can't just leave him like that, not after everything he's done. I won't, Dean said somberly.

"Let's go then," Sam said quietly.

The made the drive to Dr. Robert's office in silence. Sam still thought it was probably the dumbest idea Dean ever had and that was out of a very long list of dumb ideas. But he knew Dean's mind was made up and there was no way he could change his mind so he was going to have his brother's back.

The plan was to go to Dr. Robert and have him 'kill' Dean again like he did when Dean was trying to get Sam's soul back. Dean was going to ask..beg if needed, Death to reap the Leviathan who was in Cas's vessel. Sam had argued with Dean till he was blue in the face that it was too dangerous and wouldn't work. The last time they'd seen Death they made him mad and he threatened to kill them if they ever tried to bind him again. Dean said this would be fine since he wasn't binding Death, he was just going to make a friendly request. Sam thought if Dean wanted to he could justify anything when he had his mind set on something he wanted.

They walked up the stairs to Dr. Robert's office. Sam looked around face scrunched in response to the place's rundown appearance. If Death didn't kill Dean whatever disease he caught from this place sure might.

"I can't say I've had many repeat customer's for this particular procedure," Dr. Robert stated as he shut the door to his office behind them.

"Cuz they don't survive it," Sam mumbled to himself.

"Sam," Dean warned sharply.

"Actually son, I have a very high success rate. I did bring your brother back the first time," Dr. Robert said with a smile.

"Great. I'm fully at ease now," Sam said rolling his eyes.

"Don't take it personal doc. He's pissed at me," Dean said shooting Sam a shut up look.

"No worries. Now shall we get started?"

"Sure thing," Dean said slightly nervous.

Dr. Robert's assistant put the IV in Dean's arm. It pumped the drugs that would soon stop his heart into his veins. After a few minutes Dean felt as if he were drifting into a deep sleep. Next thing he knew he was out on the sidewalk in front of the building he had just been in.

"Dean, so nice to see you again. I assume this is another business call since you aren't on the list," a familiar voice said from behind him and he turned toward it.

"Well whatta ya know, that was easier than last time. I didn't even have to call you," Dean observed.

"Let's just say I keep an ear out for my more special cases," Tessa said.

"Special?" Dean questioned.

"Yea Dean you're special. We've met a number of times now and I've yet to reap you. How many people do you think do that?"

"Not many?" Dean guessed.

"None," Tessa corrected.

"Look uh, no offense but..." Dean started to say.

"But you wanna talk to the boss man," Tessa finished.

"Yea," Dean said with an unsure smile.

"Go ahead," Tessa said.

"Huh?" Dean looked at her confused.

"Hello Dean," said the voice behind him causing Dean to jump.

"H-hey," Dean stammered.

"Perhaps I didn't make myself quite clear the last time. When I said I'd kill you if you tried to bind me again I thought it was implied you shouldn't contact me anymore as well. You know most people try to avoid me Dean."

"I-I need your help, please. Sir?" Dean said hesitantly.

"Of course you do. I didn't think this was a social call. I'm not very good company," Death said coolly.

"The Leviathan are loose. The leader has Cas's vessel. If you kill him they all die and Cas can come back. You said you would reap God so ya can kill these things right?"

"I know all of this Dean. Yes I can but I won't."

"But why? You helped before. You could have let Lucifer end the world but you didn't."

"Lucifer had the nerve to try to control me. The peasant is lucky I didn't kill him. What I did wasn't for the world," Death said disinterested.

"Please. Just help..." Dean started to say but couldn't finish.

Dean's eyes shot open as he gasped for air and clutched his chest. He quickly took in his surroundings. He was alive again.

"Dean!" Sam shouted from beside him.

"I'm fine Sammy," Dean said his voice hoarse.

"Did it work? Did you talk to Death? Is he going to help?" Sam asked anxiously.

"It worked. I talked to him. No he isn't," Dean answered shortly.

**Chapter Fourteen:**

It had been two days since Dean died, again. Death was his last hope and he turned him down. If there was a rock bottom, Dean had hit it. He completely refused to speak to anyone and he never even left his room now. It was sometime in the middle of the night and he was lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling when suddenly he wasn't.

"What the fuck?" Dean questioned looking around the room.

"Hello Dean."

"Death?" Dean questioned in surprise.

"Quite the observant one isn't he?" Death asked looking off to his side.

"Who the..." Dean started to ask as the figure stepped forward bringing its identity into view. "Chuck," he finished in shock. Why are you here?"

"No Dean. I'm not Chuck," the thing in Chuck's body said.

"Well then who the hell are you?" Dean asked annoyed.

"Nope. Try the other direction Winchester," Death said calmly.

"Other direc...God?" Dean asked as the realization hit.

"Yes Dean," God answered.

"I'm dead then aren't I."

"Technically, for the moment at least. We needed to talk and this was the most convenient way for all of us to get together," Death explained.

"What's going on?" Dean asked still in shock looking between Death and God.

"I'm here to help Dean," God answered.

"Yea right," Dean said with a bitter laugh. "Cuz you've been there so much before."

"I know you think I abandon you Dean but that wasn't the case."

"I don't _think _anything, I know it. Sam and I talked to your buddy Joshua, remember?"

"I had my reasons for that. I never stopped being there for you," God defended.

"Yea whatever. I never expected anything from you anyway. It was Cas you abandoned," Dean said his voice hardening at the last sentence remembering how hurt his angel was over his father.

"Everything happens for a reason. I brought Castiel back to you. I can not say why he left you, it was his choice to make."

Dean fell silent. He was furious with Castiel when he abandon him. The angel swore it was for the best if he stayed in heaven and Dean went to Lisa and Ben to live a 'normal' life. Dean said he could never be _normal _and Castiel was just like everyone else in his life, everyone always left him. This hurt the angel a great deal but he truly believed leaving would be the safest thing for the hunter. Heaven was in chaos and he had to stop Raphael from taking over. If Dean were involved with him in any way Raphael could threaten his life as leverage and Castiel feared he'd do or give anything to save Dean and the world would suffer because of it. He'd stayed away from the hunter a full year before finally seeing him face to face again but he never stopped watching out for him or dropping in to check on him, with out Dean's knowing.

"Why are you here now then?" Dean asked trying to keep his emotions in check.

"Because this is not supposed to be happening. The Leviathan are not meant to be loose. Castiel, while his heart was in the right place, altered the order of things when he consumed Purgatory's contents. He almost righted the situation returning the souls but unfortunately the creatures were strong and held on," God explained.

"So you're gonna kill them then?" Dean asked Death.

"No Dean. I already told you I wouldn't."

"What then?"

"After our little chat I had a meeting with God and we discussed the matter. God is going to send them back to Purgatory."

"Good, great. Whatta ya waiting for then?" Dean wondered to God.

"We need your help son," God answered.

**Chapter Fifteen:**

Then plan sounded so simple, in theory. Death would create another eclipse, God would bring the Leviathan in Cas's vessel to where the spell was originally carried out, Dean would open up the door to Purgatory again, and this time since there was only one of them Cas would be able to force him out...or so God claimed. But when in Dean Winchester's life was anything simple?

"God as in the God? You talked to him?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Yea Sammy, _the _God. How many times do I have to tell you?" Dean asked annoyed.

"Well why now? We begged him for help for a frigging year when the world was ending..Cas begged him and he didn't think it was his problem."

"He said everything happened for a reason but this wasn't supposed to happen so he's gonna fix it," Dean explained.

"And you're just gonna take his word for it? You think he's the big cure all now?" Sam asked surprised.

"No Sam," Dean snapped. "I didn't take stupid pills this morning. I don't trust the guy and I still say he's a dick but he's all we got left."

"Alright. When's this supposed to happen then?"

"Tomorrow night."

Dean spent that night alone in his room. He had never been so nervous before. He tried to convince himself it was just another job, go in..get it done..and leave, but he couldn't. If this worked the way God had promised everything could be good again, well at least as good as it could be in his life. He might have his angel back and these things would be put back in their cage again. Dean _should _be happy right now, he had been given a second chance. If he got Cas back he'd tell him what he meant to him, that he forgave him, that he was sorry he'd been such a dick...he was even gonna tell Sam and Bobby about them. Part of him was sure they already knew. Certain tones and comments made it kind of obvious but they'd all been working with the infamous 'sweep the big stuff under the rug' Winchester way. If this all worked out he was going to bring it out in the open. Everything that had made him keep it a secret before didn't seem to matter anymore. He wasn't afraid of anyone not accepting it or making fun of him for it, he'd lost Castiel for too long and he knew nothing could be as hard as that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Sixteen:**

When Dean finally fell asleep he was plagued with dreams. He woke up just after dawn and decided to give up trying to get any rest. In less than 24 hours all this would be over, one way or another.

_"What are you gonna do now?" Dean asked looking over at Cas._

_"Return to Heaven, I suppose."_

_"Heaven?"_

_"With Michael in the Cage, I'm sure it's total anarchy up there."_

_"So, what, you're the new sheriff in town?" Dean asked._

_"Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I suppose I am."_

_"Wow. God gives you a brand-new, shiny set of wings, and suddenly you're his bitch again."_

_"I don't know what God wants. I don't know if he'll even return. It just... seems like the right thing to do," Cas explained._

_"So how long are you gonna be gone?" Dean asked._

_"I-I'm not coming back," Cas answered guiltily._

_"What?" Dean asked in shock as he slammed on the brakes._

_"I was assigned to watch you and stop the seals from braking, my duties were up long ago. This isn't my place Dean," Cas said evenly._

_"Your duties?" Dean questioned incredulously. "What about me?"_

_"I heard what you promised Sam," Cas said sadly._

_"I didn't __**promise **__him anything. I just didn't tell him I wouldn't do it," Dean corrected._

_"Semantics, Dean."_

_"Is that what this is about? You're pissed at me cuz Sam told me to go live some Beaver Cleaver life and I let him think I would?" Dean asked agitated._

_"I am not angry with you Dean. I agree with Sam."_

_"You what?" Dean asked looking at the angel in shock._

_"I think you should go to Lisa and Ben and live a normal apple-pie life."_

_"N-no," Dean stammered not believing what he was being told._

_"It was Sam's last wish," Cas said trying to get at Dean's loyal side._

_"Sam was just trying to make sure I don't mess with the cage. He doesn't know everything..he doesn't know about us."_

_"I believe he does," Cas answered honestly. "And he believes it's wrong..as do I," Cas finished quietly._

_"No it's just weird for Sa..."Dean started to deny when the last part of the angel's statement sank in. "Y-you think this is __**wrong**__?" Dean questioned gesturing between them looking hurt._

_Every fiber in Castiel's being was screaming at him to tell the hunter no. To tell him that their time together had been the happiest of his entire existence but he didn't. He wanted Dean to have a normal life and he knew having an angel boyfriend was anything but normal. He also knew with Heaven in such chaos Dean would only be in danger if he was linked to him in any way. It was going to be the hardest thing the angel had to do in all the thousands of years he'd been alive but he was going to have to convince Dean their relationship had been a mistake._

_"Yes I do," Cas lied._

_"Since when?"_

_"It's always been wrong."_

_"You..you can't mean that." Dean said with such a sad look it took all the strength the angel had not to reach out and comfort his hunter._

_"I do. Angels aren't meant to be with humans. It's my fault, I should never have let it happen. My will was weakened because I spent too much time among your kind," Cas said coldly. He knew emphasizing the angel human difference would hurt Dean more. Dean had felt guilty when they first got together over 'defiling one of the actual good angels' as he put it._

_"So you're just gonna leave?" Dean asked as his sad look quickly turned to an angry one. "After everything we've fucking been through, you're just gonna abandon me like everyone else?"_

_"I'm making things how they should be."_

_"That's bullshit. You're taking the easy way out," Dean spat out and Cas flinched at the word easy._

_"How's that?" Cas questioned. His curiosity getting in the way momentarily._

_"Because it's all over. You have nothing left to hide behind..not stopping the seals from breaking..not your search for God..not keeping Sam and me away from Michael and Lucifer. All that's left is what __**you **__want to do and you're too scared to deal with it so you're leaving."_

_"I can make you forget if you want," Cas offered. He had contemplated just wiping Dean's memory of him entirely but he couldn't betray him like that after all they'd been through._

_"Is that really all you have to say to me?" Dean asked, the hurt clearly back in his features._

_"There's nothing left to say," Cas said bluntly. "Do you want it or not?"_

_"No. I need to remember how yet another person I trusted fucked me over so maybe I won't be stupid enough to let anyone else in again," Dean said bitterly._

_"I'm sorry Dean," Cas said somberly._

_"Just get the fuck out," Dean said darkly._

_"Go to Lisa and Ben. Get out of this life Dean," Cas said quietly then disappeared._

_Dean looked at the empty seat beside him in disbelief. He was gone, his angel was actually gone. Not because he was killed or forced back to heaven but because he'd left, just like everyone else in Dean's life. _

"Stupid bastard," Dean said aloud shaking his head bringing himself out of the memory.

Dean knew why Cas had left him, he told him everything when he'd come back. He was pissed for awhile but he couldn't stay angry with Cas for long. He knew Cas always had his best interests in mind and Dean couldn't fault him for that, he was the same with people he loved. Dean also knew none of this would have happened if Cas had just stayed in the car that night. He never would have started dealing with Crowley or lying to him and the souls would have never left Purgatory. It was too late to think that way. Besides, if he thought back far enough this could all be traced back to being his fault..he doesn't break the first seal, the angels never show themselves on earth, Sam never starts the Apocalypse and becomes Lucifer's meatsuit and the Leviathan never get topside. Dean quickly shook that thought out of his head as well. No matter what came after, he couldn't regret any path that lead to Castiel coming into his life.

**Chapter Seventeen:**

Castiel had been pretty quiet since he saw Dean again. He knew he had no control over his vessel now but he felt guilty about what the Leviathan had done to Dean. Mostly he felt guilty because he enjoyed it. He'd been with out his hunter for so long and they parted on such bad terms, he'd do anything for another chance to be with him..even if it wasn't really him with Dean.

After what had happened the angel pretty much lost all hope of Dean getting him out of this. If he were looking for a way to save him before he certainly wouldn't be bothering anymore. Castiel figured it was better this way. He didn't deserve to be saved by Dean. Despite his best intentions he'd betrayed the one person he cared about most...then he'd let the Leviathan do it all over again in his vessel. Dean would be better off if he just killed this monster with him still inside and got on with his life. Maybe if he was really truly gone Dean could have that normal life he wanted. He tried to force it on him when he made him go to Lisa and Ben but Dean had fought him every step of the way. But Castiel was still alive then and Dean had that to cling to, with the angel gone Dean wouldn't have a choice.

Castiel choked out a sound of disgust as the Leviathan finished with its dinner. It was bad enough when he had to watch as one of the other creatures made some poor human their meal but when the monster in his vessel did it it was just as if he were eating the person himself. He could see and feel and even _taste _everything. It was definitely one of the worst parts about being trapped with this thing.

_"Castiel, so squeamish. I'd think with your death toll this wouldn't bother you as it does," the Leviathan commented casually._

_"I never ate any of my kills you parasite," Castiel answered darkly._

_"Which one of us is truly the monster then? I at least have a need to murder, you did it for personal gain."_

_"I-I was protecting the world. I had to stop Raphael by any means necessary," Castiel defended._

_"And I'm protecting the world with what I'm doing...mine. My family and I have been in Purgatory letting humans run things for far too long. It's our turn now."_

**Chapter Eighteen:**

"Are you sure about this?" Sam asked as they pulled up to the warehouse.

"Hey, if you can't trust Death and God who can ya trust?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"You're allowed to just say no," Sam responded rolling his eyes.

"Doesn't matter if I'm _sure _about anything, I'm doing it. Let's go," Dean said as he opened the car door.

They made their way in the abandon building followed by Bobby. Bobby started making the symbol for the ritual on the wall in blood and Sam and Dean canvassed the place. A few minutes later they had some company.

"Good evening gentlemen," Death greeted from behind the hunters. "I see we're ready."

"Y-yea we are," Dean stammered as he turned around.

"It's almost time," said another voice just out of view.

They all turned to look as God, in Chuck's vessel still, came out of the shadows. Sam and Bobby's mouths dropped in surprise and Dean rolled his eyes.

"G-god?" Sam questioned.

"Yes my son," God answered with a smile.

"Why now?" Sam asked.

"Everything has a time and a reason, child. These creatures are not meant to be here and I need to restore order," God explained.

"Yes that's quite riveting but we really are on a time frame here," Death said impatiently.

"What's the deal then?" Dean asked pulling everyone back into focus.

"I will create an eclipse at exactly 3:59 am. A few minutes before that God will bring the head Leviathan here so you can start the ritual. Do you think you can handle not getting killed for say 90 seconds give or take?" Death asked.

"I-I guess," Dean said unsure.

"We'll try but we don't know what kills these things. Is there anything?"

"You will be able to slow him down enough with your usual weapons. I will look out for you while Bobby performs the ritual," God said.

"What about Cas?" Dean asked.

"When the door opens Castiel will be stronger then the creature and it will be returned to Purgatory and all its descendants will return as well. I've explained this Dean," God said.

"Yea, yea I got that. What happens to him after?" Dean asked impatiently.

"Castiel has many things to atone for," God said flatly.

"So you're gonna drag him back to heaven and send him to angel bootcamp," Dean accused resentfully.

"No," God said simply. "I have different plans for Castiel."

"Like?" Dean asked narrowing his eyes.

"Now isn't the time. You have a few minutes to prepare and I will bring the Leviathan to you," God said before disappearing.

"Son of a bitch," Dean hissed. "Now I know where the angels get it from."

Sam raised his eyebrow at his brother questioningly.

"They're all fucking allergic to giving a straight answer," Dean answered in annoyance.

"Well can we save all the chit chat till after we put this thing back in the cage?" Bobby piped in.

**Chapter Nineteen:**

They all took a defensive stance next to each other in front of the wall with the symbol.

"It's 3:58. Where the hell is it?" Dean asked impatiently.

Right on schedule God transported the Leviathan to the room. It appeared in front of them first with a look of shock that quickly turned to rage.

"What the fuck are you doing Winchester?" it snarled.

_"He did it," Castiel said excitedly. "He found a way to kill you."_

_"None of them will have a chance to try," it snapped._

Bobby started reading the ritual and LeviaCas made a move toward him. Dean was quickly between then, his knife drawn. Before he even had a chance to strike the Leviathan shoved him, sending him flying into the wall across the room. As he was about to strike Bobby he transported to a different part of the room.

"What the fuck?" Bobby questioned then quickly started reading again.

"Hey!" Sam yelled.

The Leviathan turned around and Sam shot it. It was unaffected and advanced on him. Even more angry now it didn't bother to hit Sam it just snapped his neck and he fell to the floor lifeless,

"No!" Dean roared as he charged at the monster.

They collided and Dean's knife stuck deep into it's left flank. It hit Dean hard in the jaw knocking him backward. From behind them Dean heard Sam gasping for air. The Leviathan turned to look at him in shock.

"We have an ace up our sleeve douchebag," Dean said cockily.

The thing turned and started to advance on the hunter as Bobby finished the ritual. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and looked at the wide open hole in the wall.

"NOOOOO!" It screamed. "You can't do this," it said looking as if it were fighting itself.

_"Not so strong without all your little friends are you?" Castiel said smugly._

_"You're not rid of me yet angel boy."_

_"I will be."_

"Let go of Cas now you son of a bitch!" Dean yelled.

_"He knows." Castiel said in shock. "He knows I'm still in here."_

_"I won't leave that easily. You want loverboy back you're going to have to fight for him."_

Sam, Dean and Bobby all stood and watched what could only be described as Cas's meatsuit beating itself up. The vessel swung back and forth, was slammed into the walls repeatedly and fell down a number of times. Finally after a few minutes of this a bright light came out of the vessel and was sucked into the hole in the wall. Castiel's body fell to the floor. Before any of them could react to what just happened a bunch of bright lights came flying through the warehouse and went into the hole as well. The three hunters stayed out of the way off in a corner watching with wide eyes. When he was pretty sure it was over Dean was the first to move.

"Dean wait," Sam said as Dean moved toward Cas's body.

"Be careful boy," Bobby warned.

"Cas?" Dean asked, his voice breaking as he bent down over the body.

Castiel's vessel was still and showed no signs of life.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled frantic. "He said he'd be fine!"

Again, right on schedule, God stepped in. Cas's eyes flew open and he jerked up gasping for air. Dean reached down and grabbed hold of both sides of his collar as if Cas was going to suddenly float away or something.

"Cas! Cas, are you ok? Can you hear me?" Dean questioned with a distraught look in his eyes.

"That was unpleasant," Cas said as Dean pulled him up to a sitting position.

"Are you..is it just you in there?" Dean asked unsure.

"Yes," Cas answered simply. He looked up at Dean with those intense blue eyes of his and he knew instantly his angel was back...or so he thought.

Without so much as another word Dean closed the space between them crashing their lips together. At first Castiel was so surprised he didn't move but Dean persisted and Cas started to kiss back. Bobby and Sam, who hadn't moved from the corner, stood there stunned.

"Y-you're back," Dean said in a daze.

"It appears so," Cas said nervously.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked anxiously.

"I've done so much. I can never make up for it all," Cas answered ashamed.

"None of it matters," Dean said frankly.

"How could it not?" Cas asked looking at him skeptically.

"Are you sorry?" Dean asked bluntly.

"Yes but.." Cas started to say but Dean raised his hand to quiet him.

"Are you going to lie to me again?" Dean asked simply.

"N-no," Cas stammered.

"Are you going to leave me again?" Dean asked.

"I don't want to," Cas answered honestly.

"Then, like I said, none of it matters."

Cas opened his mouth to protest but Dean covered it with his own to silence him. The kiss started to deepen a little when they heard Sam awkwardly clear his throat from behind them.

"Such a fucking cock blocker," Dean mumbled after reluctantly separating from his angel.

Dean got to his feet and helped Cas up. They both turned to look at the other two men.

"Yes I'm fucking Cas.. yes I'm all gay now.. no we aint gonna have any chick flick moments talking about our 'more profound bond'.. and don't you two dare act like you didn't know," Dean said plainly.

Bobby and Sam smirked but didn't dare say anything. Yes it was a little weird still but they could see how happy Dean was even though he was trying his damnedest to act casual about the whole thing. Dean turned his attention back to his angel.

"Ready to get out of here?" Dean asked.

"Yes, very much."

Castiel went to start walking but stopped flat grabbing his side in pain.

"What is is?" Dean asked concerned.

"I feel discomfort," Cas answered scrunching up his features making a displeased face.

"Wait, you _feel_?" Dean questioned emphasizing the last word.

"Y-yes," Cas answered as realization hit and he began noticing other things he was feeling as well. His whole body was sore, he was thirsty, he found himself needing to breathe instead of just doing it out of habit to blend in the human world...he was human. Cas turned to Dean about to tell him his discovery when suddenly they weren't alone.

"Well done boys," God said encouragingly.

"Father?" Cas said questioningly as he dropped to his knees bowing to him.

"Yes my son, it's me."

"I'm so sorry," Cas began to sob.

"Stand up my child," God said as he put a hand on Cas's shoulder.

"I'm s-sorry father. P-please forgive me," Cas pleaded in between tears.

"Of course Castiel. Forgiveness is their for all my children who truly repent."

"I've done things that are unforgivable," Cas said blankly.

"All can be forgiven, you need to learn how to accept forgiveness as well as ask for it Castiel."

"Yes sir," Cas said nodding his head.

"Do you wish to stay as you are Castiel?" God asked.

Dean looked between them confused by the question. Sam and Bobby had similar looks as well.

"Do I have a choice father?" Castiel asked, obviously understanding the question.

"Yes, I am giving you one. You may stay as is or return to what once was. You're aware of the consequence of both options," God answered.

Castiel was silent for a long moment. He looked at Dean who looked back at him confused.

"None of it matters, you really mean that?" Cas asked Dean.

"Yea Cas I did. What's going..." Dean started to ask but Cas placed two fingers to Dean's lips silencing him.

"I wish to stay this way," Cas answered confidently, turning back to face God.

"Very well my child," God said to Castiel. "Take care of him. He's truly one of my most special children," God said turning to Dean.

More confused then ever Dean opened his mouth to ask what the hell was going on but God disappeared.

**Chapter Twenty:**

**This chapter doesn't really add anything to the story I just wanted to wrap it up with some good..cause Chuck knows I put Dean & Cas through enough crap this story. No more chapter fics for me, I procrastinate way too much.**

It had been a little over a week since Cas gave up being an angel. He still had some residual angelness like photographic memory and perceiving the atmosphere of a situation. The second Dean wished he'd lost. Castiel could read anyone but it seemed that particular skill was even stronger when it came to Dean.

Teaching Cas how to be human wasn't as hard as Dean thought it would be. Sure he had to tell him how to do the most basic of people skills but since Cas never forgot anything he at least didn't have to be repetitive. But no matter how _human _Cas was now he still had some of what Dean first thought were angel qualities. His inability to comprehend personal space, his trade mark head tilt of confusion, his default response to take almost everything literally..all these stuck. After being around more angels Dean knew these weren't typical angel things, they were typical Cas things and he liked them.

"I still can't believe you gave up being an angel for me," Dean said as he sat down on the couch next to Cas.

"I told you I couldn't have both," Cas said as if it weren't anything at all.

"I know but you used to be a powerful super being and you chose to be human to stay with me. That kinda puts a lot of pressure on a guy, I gotta freaking compete with _Heaven_."

"There is no competition," Cas said simply.

"Uh that's either a really nice compliment or an insult," Dean said eying the former angel.

"Take it however you want to," Cas said in the same nonchalant tone but Dean caught the quick smirk that crossed his face.

"Smartass," Dean mumbled and gave him a soft elbow to the ribs.

"I can't help myself. You're just too adorable when you get all insecure," Cas said with a chuckle. "Don't forget how I learned how to be a smartass."

"I think I liked you better before you had a sense of humor," Dean said with mock annoyance but not hiding the affectionate grin that took over his mouth.

"Don't be hatin." Cas said casually. "I'm hilarious, you know it."

"Don't be what?" Dean asked bewildered. "Now I know I didn't teach you that shit."

"I have other resources to gain knowledge other than you Dean," he said sounding very much like old Castiel.

"Such as?" Dean asked relaxing back against the couch and taking a swig of his beer.

"Jersey Shore," Cas stated.

"What?" Dean almost choked out in shock after the beer in his mouth spurted into the air in front of him.

"The TV show. Have you not heard of it?" Cas asked with his signature slight tilt of his head.

"Yea I've _heard _of it." Dean answered incredulously. "I can't believe you watch it. When exactly have you watched it anyway?"

"I don't know. It's been on a few times when I was flicking channels," Cas shrugged.

"Flicking channels? And you stopped to watch that?" Dean asked rhetorically shaking his head with a smirk. "What am I going to do with you?" Dean asked putting his arm on the back of the couch behind Cas.

"I can think of a few things," Cas answered with a suggestive eyebrow raise.

"Cas," Dean groaned in frustration. "Sam and Bobby are gonna be back any minute now. Yea they've been cool with this thing we got but I sure as hell know they don't want any first hand visuals."

Cas rolled his eyes and sat back on the couch next to Dean. He never did understand humans' weirdness over sexual orientation. His father was completely indifferent about it and angels, in their real forms, didn't even have a sex so it meant nothing to them.

They sat there quietly for a few minutes watching the TV and then Dean started to fidget.

"What are you thinking?" Cas asked glancing in Dean's direction.

"N-nothing," Dean stammered.

"I sense you're troubled," Cas said simply.

"Dammit don't be angel mojoing me," Dean said and cleared his throat nervously.

"I don't _have _angel mojo," Cas said defiantly.

"Yea well you got those freaky after effects. _People _can't do that," Dean said.

"There are many cases of people being..." Cas started to explain.

"Cas!" Dean interrupted. "So not the point. I know you're the walking talking breathing bubble of knowledge but can we not go into one of your side track digressions right now."

"Now you're annoyed," Cas observed.

"Stop poking around in my head dude. It's bad enough you can tell what I'm feeling, don't be expecting me to talk about it."

Cas said nothing but cut his eyes and gave Dean a look that said he wasn't backing down.

"Fine," Dean mumbled annoyed. "But if I turn into a big girl who wants to talk about everything like Sammy you'll be sorry."

Cas just rolled his eyes and waited for Dean to continue. Getting Dean to actually say what he was feeling was like pulling teeth most times.

"I-I kinda wanted to tell you something..I mean I was thinking it when you were dead or I thought you were..but it seems so weird..." Dean rambled on.

"Dean just say it," Cas said bluntly. He knew Dean could go on forever without ever actually getting to the point, life long practice with avoidance.

"I love you," Dean grumbled so quietly and quickly that Cas had a small debate with himself whether he actually heard what he thought he did or if he just imagined it.

"What was that?" Cas questioned trying his damnedest to surpress a wicked smirk.

"You heard me asshole," Dean said glaring at the former angel.

"I'm sorry but I didn't catch that Dean. You really need to learn to enunciate," Cas said with such a sincere innocent look if Dean didn't know better he'd have believed him.

"I said I love you," Dean still mumbled but louder and slower.

"Oh ok, now that's what I thought you said. That's nice," Cas said casually.

"You're a son of a bitch you know that," Dean said with gritted teeth.

"You know I don't actually have a mother Dean."

"You're hilarious," Dean huffed and stood up from the couch. "And you wonder why I don't do chick flick moments. Tell a guy you love em and the fucker says that's nice," Dean said making dramatic hand gestures.

Dean turned to go stomp off when Cas quickly stood up and grabbed Dean by the wrist pulling him in his personal space.

"I love you too," Cas said in a stern no nonsense tone while looking at Dean with one of his intense blue eye gazes.

Dean's facial features softened and a grin crossed his lips. Cas touched his fingers to his cheek and leaned in to kiss him. The kiss deepened and Dean opened his mouth letting Cas's tongue in to explore. They stood there like that for a few minutes before they heard it.

"Ewww dudes c'mon," Sam groaned from behind Dean.

"Always the fucking cock blocker," Dean said in frustration as he pulled away from Cas.

"You idgits get a room if you're gonna be getting all touchy feely," Bobby said coming into the room.

"I told you," Dean said looking at Cas with a smirk before flopping back onto the couch and pulling him down too.


End file.
